What’s in a NAME in the cloud or not.

It seems rather simple at first, you have a name you call yourself as you go thru life.  I have a slightly complex issue that my legal first name isn’t Ric.  It’s John.  Same as my father’s and the name goes back from there too.  

 

For most of my life this hasn’t been a big deal, but there were times things were a bit confusing.  Once at the doctor’s office, it was discovered that our records were completely mixed up.  And our credit reports were a bit of mess at one time.  These weren’t trivial things but were worked out rather easily.  

 

It’s now getting worse not better.  The mix up with my Dad isn’t so much the issue.  It’s that I go by Ric and not John.  A friend recently wrote me a check as Ric and it was kicked back by the ATM because it didn’t match my legal name.  My bank records have an AKA for me as Ric, but the automated system doesn’t recognize that.   There were some headaches with a recent refinance revolving around my name. 

 

When I go to take certification exams, I have to remember to put John not Ric on the form.  Since my government IDs don’t have me was Ric.  As such all my certifications are for John not Ric.  Which at least is odd, since everyone knows me as Ric not John. 

 

Also, my last name is a problem for many systems.  It should be Van Dyke.  But many systems wouldn’t take a space in my last name so it becomes Vandyke.  My drivers license has no space in my last name but my passport does have a space.  This has causes lengthy discussions sometimes.  

 

So why do I bring this up in my blog which is nearly exclusively about SQL performance?   

 

Because all of this is our fault.  We have written code over the years that makes assumptions about names.  Like a person can’t have two first names, a legal one and a preferred  one.  And that a name can’t have a space in it.  (I’m assume in Europe this isn’t a problem, since sur names with spaces is rather common.) 

 

Yes, there are a few systems that do have preferred names and some that can take a space, but the norm is not to have these.  

 

The song “I feel like a Number” by Bob Seger comes to mind for me on this.  I feel like I MUST conform to the system and not the other way around.  So much for individuality in our computerized world. 

 

Oh, and I did not carry on the tradition of the first name, my son’s first name is not John.  

 

“Damn it I'm a man! I feel like a number!”